Someone asked on Quora:
"Are lesbians attracted to men?"
Some of the other answers:
I think there's more nuance.
Here are my thoughts (as a queer nonbinary femme/lesbian):
Lesbians are not primarily attracted to men, but they certainly can be.
There are many reasons, but the reason I want to focus on right now is this: We cannot determine another person’s gender solely based on our interpretation of how they look. This is where the argument should end, really.
A lesbian may see and be attracted to a person they assume is a woman, but the other person may not be a woman. This actually happens all the time. It has happened with me, and it has happened with many of my friends. I know tons of lesbians who have dated trans guys (and nonbinary and genderqueer folks, who are also not women; I mention nonbinary folks here, because many of the answers to this question are oversimplifying the “lesbian” definition and insisting it means sole attraction to women, period). For what it’s worth, I also know lesbians who have been attracted to or been with cis guys. The possibility always exists. In case anyone reading this tries to protest and make excuses or caveats for gender presentation/expression, just hold your breath. Yes, it still “counts” if the man has a stereotypically feminine expression. Yes, it still counts if the lesbian in question reads the man as a woman. Assuming gender is always a dubious risk; one should never be confident of their uninformed (by the person) assessment.
Finally, labels are self-determined approximations of identity. The details of my definition and reality of “lesbian” may not coincide exactly with yours. And that’s A-okay.
Let me know your thoughts!
